Having the privilege to study abroad multiple times, I’ve learned a lot about myself, the world, and others. I’ve been in Spain for almost two months now, and reflection doesn’t always have to come at the end of an experience. In fact, healthy daily reflection can be very beneficial. I’m always trying to better myself, become aware of my surroundings, yet be happy and content at the same time.

2018 was a huge year for me. I traveled the world with my best friend for free while getting professional career experience. I was beyond ecstatic, but I wasn’t fully fulfilled from this experience. I also wasn’t emotionally mature as I am now at this point in my life (which is to be expected). One of the things I’m most thankful I’ve discovered thus far in Spain is my inner peace. I actually have time to read, write, practice yoga, and journal everyday. I constantly dig deeper when asking questions to myself and surround myself with people who think the same. Humans are inherently social beings, but it’s vital to be able to enjoy spending time with yourself. In other words- think of it like a friendship: we choose to hang out with people who bring us joy, constantly lift us up, spread positivity, and push us to better ourselves. We tend to distance ourselves from the friends or people in our lives who bring us down or have negative energy. Which category are you when you speak to yourself? Yes, I know it can seem too unrealistic or over the top to be speak positively to yourself sometimes, I’m human too I understand this side of the argument. BUT, you need to believe in yourself before anyone else can, and no one deserves 100% self-love and acceptance more than you.

I became inspired to write about this topic because of some recent events that transpired in my life today. Journaling has been proven to help relieve stress from the brain, as putting words onto paper helps the mind process and let things go. Writing has become a way for me to process my thoughts and move on, and I thought I’d share my way of thinking with others who may be interested. First, if you’re really heated and need to get things off your chest open up a blank word document and free write AKA: write everything out without making corrections. This helps me think clearly after and be able to articulate my thoughts to others without having the frustration from the initial heat of the moment. We all need to have ways to healthily cope with things and this is just one thing that works for me.

So here it goes.

Today I was told by someone in a position of power over me that I wasn’t living my life properly or doing things as I should. This idea stemmed from how I am “different” than the rest of my group members, and I should enjoy my time as a student instead of working. (Yes dad, who woulda ever thought!!!) Ironically, I’ve been spending much of my time thinking about how I can survive without ever actually getting a job so it’s quite comical to me. But back to the point, I have just a couple comments on why this train of thought irks me.

What I’ve Learned:

• When someone doesn’t fit in with a group, they are asked to conform; yet when someone only conforms to a group, they are asked to stand out.
• There’s a well-known quote which goes something like-“There are always 3 sides to a story: yours, mine, and the truth.” However, when it comes to my being, my happiness, and my life, my opinion is the only one that matters because I’m the one who bares the consequences and reaps the benefits.
• Life is fluid and constantly overlapping. Yes I’m a student now, but in two months I graduate and I’m going to be an adult where I won’t have anyone to hold my hand. I started building a network of connections since day 1 when I arrived in Granada. Not because I feel pressure to find a job, but because sharing my dream job with others helps it become real life, speak it into existence, and also helps me practice selling my business. Plus, there’s always a chance they might actually know someone that could help me! My mom and sister should be super proud because they are both recruiters and they have taught me well.
• Having the mentality that you always know better than someone is absolutely the wrong mentality. “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” You can still stand by your argument, but at least acknowledge others and you may even be able to enlighten them.
• “Labeling” someone or putting them into a box after a one or a few observations isn’t beneficial to you, nor is it necessarily true about them. Some of my best friends weren’t exactly my favorite people upon first impression and I’m so thankful I learned not to judge a book by its cover early in life because of this reason.
• How you see others is a reflection of yourself. Pay close attention to what you dislike and love about other people and how that may be a reflection of how you see yourself.
• You will always have something to be proud about at the end of the day if you live your life according to your values, give your best effort, and stay true to yourself.
• You attract the energy you put out in the world.

Inner peace is something we’re never taught in school, and is rarely ever talked about; however it’s arguably one of the most important aspects of life in my opinion. People argue that love is one of the most important aspects of life, or that love is just on the spectrum of relevancy, but I believe that inner peace, harmony if you will, is the most important aspect of life. You cannot love someone else if you don’t love yourself first, and you can’t love yourself if you’re constantly in a love/hate relationship with yourself. You might even be lucky enough to leave the world a better place than you found it, but if you don’t believe that and you don’t have inner peace within yourself, nothing else matters. Not to mention the countless studies that show the inexplicable power our mind and body has when we believe in ourselves. If you believe, if you truly believe, you’re doing what’s right, that’s what matters.

I know I am living my life in the best way I know how and will not conform just because others don’t understand. I have one last question to leave you with in which a conversation with a friend here helped me to discover. Would you recognize your life from a stranger’s point of view? If you were looking at your own life but from someone else’s perspective, could you confidently identify your life by how you live it? An eye opening question on the topic of conformity that is very close to my heart.

Thank you for reading and allowing me a space to share my thoughts without judgement, namaste!